journey to heaven

Someone told me that if I have some problems,kick it out. Don't try to carry a heavy stone by my own.There's another person told me to write it out and burn it. When it became the ash, blow it...fuhh, it will fly with the wind.

I'm not a person who always and need a person to be with me when I encounter some kind of obstacle in my life. I prefer to dig a hole into my heart and bury all the problem that I faced into it.When there are many hole in my heart,m body get sick. That's why I always have a breathing difficulties and facing many kind of disease that a person like me shouldn't have. Maybe I shouldn't have it I always practicing a healthy diet everyday.But,it's all the fate that had been written for me.

I'm not a good Muslimah. I realized that.Slowly,I try to turn myself into a good one.Now, i'm in a phase of constructing myself .In order to be a good one, there's many things that I couldn't change drastically .

While trying to transform the hideous side of Zahra Azhar,i keep trying to beg something special from the others. Why it's so special to me? The knowledge about Islam, the rules that I must obey and many thing that related to my own religion. I really appreciate those who are willingly to share all this treasure to me.Thanks.

I also started to recite mathurat again after I leave it about 3 years.And on my journey to heaven, I feel like when I started to close to Allah,there's a lot of problem that I shared with him. Now,I'm no longer alone. Allah is aways by my side whenever I need him.

Thank you Allah